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Ben Simmons is Single Handedly Reversing 'The Process' and I feel for Sixers Fans

cade nba philly simmons sixers

Philly, I feel you. Being bad stinks. Being bad is worse when your crowned jewel turns into a raging doucher. 


Man, I feel bad for Philadelphia fans. Imagine branding and rationalizing your entire rebuild as “The Process” imagine putting all your faith into being complete fucking dog water for 5 years, because “The Process” of being ass will pay off and in turn, make you good. Imagine diving headfirst into the process just to find out it was the shallow end of the pool. Necks everywhere are being broken on the sea floor as we speak, from Delco to… another part of Philly that isn’t Delco. 2 shattered necks for every 1 cheesesteak sold. I really do feel bad, and I can relate. As a Detroit fan who’s known nothing but rebuilds since about 2016, I can absolutely relate to the process. In Detroit we had a different name for it, they called their rebuild “The Process” we called ours “This Fucking Sucks”, I think it was something like that. Doesn’t quite have the same ring, but probably a little more effective in getting the message across.

But what’s really fucked up about this entire thing, is the possibility that what is happening in Philly could one day happen in Detroit. Now, Cade Cunningham is 100 times the man Ben Simmons will ever be, so that makes me feel better and gives me faith that these last, I don’t know, 12 years of irrelevant Pistons basketball won’t be for nothing. Imagine running the process of purposely being the worst for 5 years, you finally draft a guy in Embiid, and then you find yourself in a position to obtain the piece de resistance, Ben Simmons. Philly completed half of the Process in flying colors. They got their guy, the guy who was so talented he couldn’t help but win in Philly. Well, turns out, he is the posterchild for those kids who dominated growing up because they were bigger than everyone. Pretty much what Simmons is at an NBA level. Can’t shoot for shit, but he’s almost 7 feet tall and is fast… No way he could possibly harm a team………………………. RIGHT?!

 Real quick, I fucking love Cade, thank god he isn't Ben Simmons. He's gonna grow old with us, I can't wait. Back to Simmons.

Well, it turns out that not only did Kendall never love him, but he also is a ME guy. The whole, ‘being a point guard that would lose to me in a 3-point contest’ shtick is running old in Philly so in response, as most great leaders and faces of franchises do, he’s going scorched earth on the team until they get rid of him. ‘The Process’ is going backwards right before our eyes and it’s fucked up, I feel bad. No fanbase should have to endure 5 years of being THE FUCKING WORST, just to have 1 of the 2 rewards for sticking through that turn out to be a tool bag who can’t do one of the most important aspects of his job. Not only can he not shoot but he refuses to, c’mon Ben, you’re a point guard in the NBA, grow some nuts and shoot the ball occasionally. Devin Booker can shoot, coincidence? You’d have to at least be intrigued in finding out if you’re Ben Simmons.

I just can’t imagine this happening to one of my teams. The Stones have FINALLY made a step in the right direction by getting Cade. Imagine my entire adolescence through teenage years being a complete waste just to get a guy like Cade and then only years later, Cade decides he’s gonna be an asshole unless he gets traded? Yikes man, I don’t even wanna picture it. Thank God Cade isn’t Ben Simmons. Thank God Cade is the most mature athlete in the NBA at only 19. Thank God Cade loves Detroit. Thank God Cade is going to have a 15-year career here filled with all-star appearances and titles. My heart goes out to Philly fans, it really does, maybe there’s a plan B to The Process? An emergency exit for when one of your stars goes full prima donna. For the sake of my cheesesteak loving compatriots, I hope that exists.







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