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Lucas Raymond Balls Drop Today

detroit hockey raymond red wings wings

Today is the day. Today is the day that our Swedish Superstar nets his first career NHL goal. Today is the day, that Lucas Raymond announces himself to the hockey world. I gotta be honest, I’m not sure if this is just pathetic or if it means I’m as die hard as it gets, but seeing Raymond get his first is going to be on par with kissing the first girl I kissed. Butterflies, happiness, achievement, patience paying off… really the Mount Olympus of feelings. Imagine kissing a girl WHILE Raymond scores his first? I’d have to figure out a way to freeze time. Anyway, everyone who watched any of the Red Wings in the pre-season or either of the two regular season games has noticed this new kid wearing #23. Like Wings of the past, he too seems to be able to mind control defenders to open passing lanes. Similar to the likes of a former 13 he gives off the illusion that the puck is magnetized to his stick at times. In parallel with the greatest player to never have his jersey retired, Mr. Federov, our new Swede has a wrist shot that would put a hole in an M1 Abrams tank. The kid really can do it all, and he’s been doing most of it, but now… now he completes the infinity stone of dominating hockey. Now he taps into his scoring touch. The Flames are fucked.


The Wings have been buzzing since the season started, the fans have been rallied, and people are ready to see Hockeytown restored. We’ve waited, long and hard, for a superstar caliber player to don the Winged Wheel, and by George I think we got one. Haven’t even mentioned that clip of him fucking ROBBING Quinn Hughes of his lunch money, in broad daylight.

 Hey Quinn, next time bring a little extra change for some milk too.

What kind of 19-year-old can maestro a PP, steals pucks in offensive zones (from all stars), and has a shot that would put Cyclops’ laser vision to shame? Lucas Raymond, that’s who. Everybody loves him. Can’t wait for the game tonight, I can’t wait to see Lucas score, and I can’t wait to watch the Wings win and become more and more convinced this team can make a wild card run. Never say die, LGRW



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