2nd String Stories

I'm sure Jamie is a great guy, probably one of the best who's ever lived. Ghandi, Mandela, then Jamie Collins, I wouldn't be surprised to find him top 3 in the power rankings of all human beings of all time. That said, he just does not churn the butter on the football field, and by THAT I mean, he fucking stinks. Blame it on old age, blame it on being on a dumpster fire team that he doesn't care about, blame it on whatever you want the guy was the absolute definition of a liability against Green Bay on Monday....

I know I'm not supposed to have any expectations for this dog shit organization and even more dog shit team, but I can't help myself. When I watch football I want my team to win, some things never change and that's one of them. I don't care how many people peg us for the number 1 pick, I don't care how many times I gotta read that we are rebuilding and it's year one of Dan Campbell and all that shit, yeah I get it, I still don't give a fuck. I can't trick my brain into watching Lions games...

I've long been a proponent that people who drink hot coffee in warm weather should be on some type of government short list somewhere. People that should be front and center at Big Brother HQ, just psychotic behavior. Hot as shit out and you're gonna dump piping hot liquids into the system? Nothing about that makes any sense to me or ever will, especially when a far more enjoyable alternative like iced coffee exists. Allows you to let out a hearty, "ahhhhhh" every time you take a sip, makes you feel like you could possibly be on a beach somewhere...

Yeah yeah yeah the Lions got their shit pushed in by the Packers last night on national television in a game where Aaron Rodgers went from being a washed up hippie that might not care anymore, back to being Aaron Rodgers. What the fuck else is new. It actually feels like that's been the story line of every Lions-Packers game over the course of my 24 year old loser NFL fan life. But I'm not here to talk about how much I hate Rodgers or how bad his haircut is, that'll be juice for the second meeting in which the...

Yes Alex, I'll take 'Athletes' for $400 He is a phony quarterback that made Jameis Winston look like Joe Montana meets Tom Brady last week. He has a haircut that looks like he teaches 8-14 year old's how to cross country rollerblade meanwhile he is on mushrooms the entire time (actually sounds kind of awesome). He is a fraud quarterback who spends his evenings day dreaming that one day he maybe, just maybe will be able to sniff Alex Trebek's jock (RIP). He is a sleeper cell that is spending his final playing days in Green Bay with the sole...