Bottom of Corn Chip Bags are For Suckers
Let me preface this by saying: I am absolutely a corn chip guy. Chips and salsa/guac is an undefeated snack and easily a top 3 go to for me. I could eat a bowl of guac with a light, crispy corn chip every day for the rest of my life (guac companies I am open to sponsorship) if it came down to it. I love corn chips.
That being said, I refuse to eat the bottom of the bag when it comes to them, I just dont do it. As soon as I hit about 10% capacity that bag has a one way ticket to the trash can. Now, with this being one of my chip eating ideologies, naturally, my dad and others seem to have a problem with it. "What the hell are you doing, you're just wasting food" and to that I say, oh contrare monfrere.
Reason being is the bottom of chip bags are designed to choke me out. Listen, I am not an easy person to choke out, I have never even once come close to being choked out by a human being, whether that's because I am a steel juggernaut of human evolution or because I technically have never been in a fight I will leave for you to decide. But I HAVE nearly been choked out by corn chip remains at least 30 times.
The other day I was just going about my business watching Michael Scott stir up some Hijink in the greater Scranton-Wilkes Barre area, while enjoying a divine spread of white corn chips and Clint's mild salsa when I suddenly saw my life flash before my eyes. Yes, I was choking and my throat felt like I swallowed a cup of gravel. At this moment I knew I had to do my civic duty and write this blog warning of the dangers of the bottoms of corn chip bags.
I am not a dramatic guy but I realized if I die any time soon, it will be due to corn chip crumbs strangling me to death. I have explained this foodie phenomenon to my dad at least 10 times and he still thinks I'm full of shit (what an asshole).
I feel like Larry David in a Curb episode when it comes to this, I mean, I can't be the only person who consistently has this experience can I? Next time you are nearing the end of a bag, do yourself a favor and toss it, go ahead and grab that next full bag and continue in your chip devouring escapade. Who knows, you could be saving a life... your life. You're welcome.