Matt Stafford Has Hit The Corona List, Here's Why It's Good
So the Cats announced today that they've placed our king, Matt Stafford, on the covid-19 reserve list. From my knowledge this doesn't necessarily mean that he has corona but it means that he may have been in contact with someone who has it or who is suspected of having it? Kind of a game of telephone but instead of passing along a cute little story people pass along a highly mutative, sometimes lethal disease... good stuff.
It should go without saying, if Stafford can't play, or decides to withhold from playing, the Lions actually should just forfeit the season. We saw what happened last year when Staffy went down and I have no reason to believe another season without him will go any better. But, like the title says, I am here to tell you why him being on the list now is a good thing.
As of now we still have a month until the season is supposed to start which means on thing: all Matt Stafford is doing is just getting placed on the covid list before the season in order to send a wake up call not only to himself but to the team. I mean think about it, handsome, talented, funny, great at chugging beer, curly haired mastiff of a human being is obviously gonna be doing some going out in the off season, and I don't blame him. From May-July Staffy was just getting his groove on. Him and his beautiful family going out on some lakes, taking a few vacations, putting down mai thais like it's nobodies business, he is gonna enjoy that time as he should. All that's happening is Stafford is sending out a message to the organization that hey, I had my fun, now im on the corona list so fuck around time has officially ended. Everyone better be buckled in and close their tabs at any and all social establishments, its football time, its Stafford winning a ring time. Chess not checkers.
All in all just a genius move (duh) by Matt Stafford, a pitcher getting Tommy John when hes 19 so he can have a leg muscle in his elbow and not worry about surgery for his career. Genius. Always one step ahead, can't wait till some phony like Aaron Rodgers comes down with covid in October because I can guarantee you this, unless covid lives in soiled diapers, Matt Stafford is going to be clean as a god damn whistle.