What the fuck is the Big Ten thinking? Two of the biggest brands in your conference and not only are they squaring off in what should be an undefeated top 10 matchup with literally everything on the line, but they are ALSO bitter, mortal, arch rivals that fucking hate each other, AND THE GAME IS SLOTTED FOR NOON!?!?!? Where is the logic there, why would the Big Ten ever allow that to happen unless they got mixed up with some cronies on Wall Street and somehow shorted the Big Ten as a business. That really is the only explicable reasoning for this decision. If you break it down to what it most simply is, the B1G essenitally said, "hey we have this massive matchup that not only everyone in the big ten wants to watch, but people nationally will. PLUS we have the ability to bring further attnetion to the Big Ten and these giant programs. All we have to do is make this game at 3:30...... Pass. Let's make sure Northwestern vs. Minnesota gets the limelight instead." What the fuck Big Ten, what the fuck.
Now that I've ripped apart the Big Ten and high powered decision makers, once again proving my narrative that the most powerful people in sports are somehow always the dumbest, I would like to say that I don't actually care about the kick off time as far as viewership goes. A few things. First off, I really don't care how many people tune into the game, as long as it's at least 1 (me) I don't give a shit if this broadcast keeps FOX afloat for 20 more years or gets blacked out in Michigan. Don't care at all. Sure, it's a little strange that the Big Ten DOESN'T want it to have maximum viewership but different strokes for different (moronic) folks. Plus, it's MSU v Michigan, people would watch that shit if they played it on Mars at 3 am.
The real issue here is the absolute lack of empathy for the people who truly make college football run, the fans. Do FOX & the B1G realize how annoying it is to get after it for a noon game? First they don't sell beer in the stadium and now they are trying to take our tailgate?! This has to be what the Sons of Liberty thought when they decided to send all that yerbamate to the bottom of the Boston Harbor. Just so brutal. Now we gotta be a couple Busch lattes deep by 9 am, that is no easy feat. I have a hard enough time being awake by then let alone maneuvering through East Lansing while mustering the strength to choke down a couple cans of piss water. Takes guts to be a noon game fan. I know they do it to make sure nobody has enough time to get wasted, which I get, but you know what it's rivalry week. If someone blacks out and gets stuck in a couch fire... that's on them, the cost of doing business in this league. If a Michigan fan want's to down an entire bottle of liquor and get's their ass whooped before kickoff... that's rivalry week baby, no friends around these parts. Besides, shit like that adds to the lore and vitriol of the rivalry. Shit like that sells tickets. It's why guys like McGregor are always being assholes to everyone. But I guess the whole, "If you go to EL for the Michigan game you might die" narrative could end up biting MSU in the ass, so I kind of get it. Still sucks though. You wanna protect EL, MSU, the fans whatever, that's fine. But making this a noon game reduces the hype meter by like 2 notches. Fewer people will be there, it will be less rowdy, it's cold in the morning. Never liked noon games when I was a student and now that I gotta drive an hour and a half to get up to EL I fucking HATE them. Is what it is though, good news is that Jim Harbaugh will have fewer people watching his demise in real time. Go Green.