Stop Wasting Your Time With Pancakes

breakfast pancakes waffle

Waffles are better guys. That's just a fact. Add one more to this list of shit I passionately write/talk about that probably has 0 significance on your life. I haven't had waffles, or pancakes in some time to be totally honest, but going to bed last night I got into a bit of a mental rabbit hole comparing and contrasting sweet breakfast foods. And fortunately for my fingers and the length of this blog that list starts and stops after pancakes and waffles. I am aware of the existence of French toast, which is also money in the tank, but that involves a hefty amount of cinnamon which is a bit of an unfair shake considering pancakes and waffles steer clear of that stuff. I don't want this piece to be too long so lets just dive in.

Whenever I find myself wasting my time scrolling social media looking at what everyone is eating for their Saturday or Sunday morning hungover meal, I always am a bit confused to see pancakes. Why would someone ever choose a flapjack over a beautiful, golden, crusted waffle. These two things are quite similar but they couldn't be more different and it really comes down to the integrity of the pancake/waffle itself. We all dress them both the same; laced in syrup, maybe a dollop of peanut butter, and if you're feeling extra kinky toss some powder sugar on there. But the real kicker comes into play when you think about the difference between the flaccid, almost soggy consistency of a pancake versus the staunch and statuesque form of the waffle. I say again, why would anyone choose a pancake. Pancakes are soft, the entire time. It is one texture, it's a little soggy and its just like a wet, flimsy surface that transports syrup and peanut butter to your mouth, doesn't really bring much to the table. Waffles demonstrate some of the most sought after traits in foods that humans look for. Crunchy on the outside, airy and light on the inside. Wooooo baby that's a one-two punch even Tyson would be jealous of. That is the prized characteristic in food though, it literally the reason us fat fuck Americans love fries so much. Crunchy on the outside, light and fluffy inside. Literally cannot be beaten, and certainly not by a flaccid, flimsy flapjack.


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