4 Days Until the Detroit Lions Go 1-0
Breathe it in, lick the dirt, wheel out the barbeque, and load up on captain and cider... my brothers and sisters it is football season once again. You can feel it in your damn bones, the leaves are changing, the grass is being cut, and sure enough when you take little Roscoe for his evening walk that sniffer of yours is leaking snot like a leaky spark tube. Fall is in the air. I honestly can't remember the last time I've been this jacked up for a season of Cats football, Idk if its because of Rona or because this team is comparable to the 2019 Chiefs but something surrounding the boys this year just has me feeling like a damn superhuman. A damn superhuman that is going to be glued to his parents William & Sonoma love seat from the hours of 1 pm to 4 pm for the next 16 Sundays. I felt so good this morning that I walked down stairs, tapped the ceiling on the staircase above me like I was walking out of a locker room because what former football player doesn't do that, walked my ass right outside, picked up a football and just chucked it down the street... Uncle Rico style with the only difference being how much more testosterone filled my mustache is.
I'm gonna level with you folks, I'm sure most of you come from hard working families, you don't like to be dicked around and you want your blog authors to just shoot right down the middle; so here it is: I might not end up talking about the Lions at all this entire blog. This might just be a sensory deprivation forum for everyone to explain their emotions and feelings that are occurring as they wake up every day knowing we are that much closer to Mitch Trubisky becoming a fry cook somewhere. I honestly think that might be playing a part in why I feel so good this year, it is just a straight-up guarantee that we are gonna start 1-0 because that egotistical clown Nagy is starting a future 5 Guys employee over Super Bowl champ Nick Foles. Imagine waking up on Sunday and all you have on the agenda is meeting up with the boys, hitting Greektown, and just guzzling booze at the Sportsbook all day. Now, imagine that scenario except when you wake up you know for a fact that you are going to win every bet you place that day. That's what Mitch starting does for me, I knew Sunday was gonna be a fun day regardless but now I get to sleep easily every night knowing the Bears were gracious enough to hand over the week 1 victory to us. Listen, I get it. Some things are bigger than sports. We haven't won the division in like 30 years, haven't won a playoff game in even longer, Stafford just had another kid, Jeff Okudah has had a tough childhood, AP came here to win a pre-retirement chip, Patricia is trying to prove himself to Belichik like a theatre kid trying to prove himself to the drill sergeant step dad. It makes total sense, we deserve this one, absolute class act move by Nagy and the Bears. Nothing but Re2pect.
Lions fans. Party time is over. It is officially back to business and we are not fucking around this year. The road to the NFC North Title starts in 4 days. One Pride.