EVERYBODY GET IN HERE, GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW! WE GOT 12 DAYS TILL THE REST OF OUR LIVES. WE'RE GONNA GO OUT, SHUT DOWN TURDBISKY, TAKE IT DOWN THE FIELD AND SCORE A TOUCHDOWN I PROMISE YOU THAT!!!!
I've never felt more like Tim Tebow in my life, not counting that one stretch in High School where I struck out 14 plate appearances in a row. Other than that, I am in my prime Tebow right now. 12 days for the rest of our one and only savior's damned lives! The world renowned Motor City Football Club will be making its debut against those clowns from Chicago. Arguably the worst quarterback in the NFL, whom the Bears passed on both Mahomes and Deshaun Watson to take, Mitch Turdbisky comes to town and he will be poised to throw 2-3 interceptions and push Detroit along to a 1-0 start to this year of destiny.
Finally, after what has to be the shittiest sports year of my life time; some normalcy will be restored. The best part of the year has returned and it looks like (knock on wood) we are far enough removed from Covid that this NFL season is going to go on without any interruption. I said it once, and I'll say it again, this is the year the Lions breakthrough and win the NFC North and eventually the super bowl, duh. As everyone knows my Spartan Dawgs will not be showing face on a football field this year and living in Michigan if I had to endure a winter without football I legitimately don't know what I'd do with myself. Us cold weather state people NEED sports during those trying months, so ill be able to sleep soundly this fall knowing I'll have my boys every Sunday.
Every year when the Lions start back up I always have some weird come to Jesus moment where I kind of forget how long its been since I've watched a Cats game, let alone a meaningful one, and instantly I hit Tebow levels of excitement. I just got done busting every which move there may be to the 1979 classic "September" by Earth Wind and Fire and man oh man am I more confident than ever we are making the playoffs this year. It is our year. I can just feel it. Just like I felt that the Wings were getting Lafreniere and just like how I felt that Chase Young was gonna drop to the Lions at 3. I just feel that this is the year we make the playoffs and make some noise while we're at it. Number 9 deserves his day in the sun and he will have it this year.
Lions fans this is the year. So grab your 2nd String Lions merch, stock up on more Busch lattes than you could ever possibly drink, throw the buffalo dip on the stove, and get ready to cry those ever so rare tears of joy. This is going to be a redeeming year to be a Detroit Lions football fan and it is only 12 days away. We are almost there folks, keep grinding, keep that positive mindset, and I will see you in 12 short days. One Pride.