First things first, allow me to disclaim that by the title I do not mean that every Michigan fan is a loser and this is addressed to them, no, I mean that this is an open letter for the losers that also happen to be Michigan fans. One of those classic "if I'm not talking about you, then don't be offended" type scenarios, Pretty much a free pass for me to shit on Michigan fans without catching too much heat, but in this case the losers have brought it upon themselves. Please, allow me to continue. I was having a run of the mill Thursday yesterday, actually having a good day. The coffee was iced, sun was shining, and vibes were high, when I suddenly stumbled across a twitter thread stating how the 2015 College Football Playoff Michigan State team was "the luckiest team in CFB history". I wish I could throw emojis in here because there would be a few lines of the one where the mouth is squiggly and he looks like he may or may not puke, what a fucking stupid thing to say. Now, this didn't totally fire me up because it came from some random CFB Instagram account and using my incredible sense of intuition I realized the clown behind the account simply wanted clicks and interactions, fair enough, my Thursday carried on.
And then something serendipitous happened, something so disappointingly expected, it couldn't possibly be true. I woke up Friday only to see a similar thread brought to life, only this time it was a hive for scumbag, loser Michigan fans. Getting each other off at the idea that every win and positive event to occur in the 2015 MSU season was totally predicated on luck. Listen, not every Michigan fan is a loser, not every Michigan fan is blinded by denial, not every Michigan fan is so detached from reality that they justify everything good that happens to everyone but them with luck. You guys aren't all like that, but if you are, and you're reading this? YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER. How can you seriously look at that 2015 team and what they did and say everything was luck??? How can you seriously do that and also be a human being capable of wiping your ass after you shit out of presumably your mouth. I can't fathom it.
Just look at this shit
I can't get over how dumb these people are. "In order to depict how lucky MSU was let's show 4 guys that were absolute fucking animals over the course of that year." 4 guys that would've started anywhere in the Big Ten. Morons man, morons. But it gets better
Yea it did https://t.co/SiQEvdzcc6— Dan (@ThiccStauskas) August 12, 2021
Yea it was https://t.co/xluJjVHfa3— Dan (@ThiccStauskas) August 12, 2021
What a fucking LOOOOOOSSSSEEEERRRRRRRR. Are you kidding me bro??? Zeke Elliot being shut down by a lights out defense and scoring 17 in the shoe with 2 backup quarterbacks is lucky!?!?!?!?! Some might say it would be lucky if Connor Cook played in that game. Some would say it's lucky if Elliot pulled his hammy after the first snap. How the fuck does anyone in their right mind justify that game as luck??!?!
This assclown saying a 9 minute, 80 something yard drive to close out Iowa and win the B1G was lucky?? LJ Scott carrying the entire state of Iowa on his bach while he reached the ball over the goal line was luck? All the while a stellar defense played another outstanding game, but ho hum they got lucky too even though they did that all fucking year. What an absolute idiot these people are. I know I'm picking on this one dude, he's just the brave soul that said it, there are plenty more of you cowards hiding in the shadows like the cockroaches that you are. I actually don't think there is a bigger loser mentality than giving excuses for your failures and other peoples victories, especially when the excuse is "luck". So fucking pathetic. Only thing worse than that are the people who decide the game is lost before it starts, I'm sure UM fans will dip their toe into that come this year.
I’m watching BTN and— joey spartan (call me Salt 🧂🧂🧂) (@joevaillancourt) April 17, 2020
WHOA HE HAS TROUBLE WITH THE SNAP
I’ll never let it go that was amazing pic.twitter.com/trDBoq8GbG
Not sure why that video looks like it was shot with a potato but you get the point.
I will concede this one thing, the trouble with the snap play certainly involved some luck, BUT, your lord and savior Harbaugh had gunners on a punt formation when MSU had nobody deep... how do you allow that to happen. High school coaches wouldn't let that shit fly, so while you scream and cry that MSU got lucky, think about the fact that your messiah head coach wasn't paying attention before the last play of the most important game of his tenure up to that point. Let that sink in. Also, MSU played well enough to win that game, look at the stats, probably deserved to win anyway, sooooooooo, it WOULD'VE been lucky if Michigan won, if you wanna get technical.
I understand, you Michigan fans are losers inherently, I mean, you're Michigan football fans. Essentially synonymous with losing and failure, but you don't need to go down the path of sore loser. I thought Michigan was built on pride and being a cut above? Have some fucking respect for yourselves and quit it with the "luck" slant and take some accountability for allowing Harbaugh to run a joke of a program for the last 7 years. Damn shame what Michigan has become since the likes of those 1940s teams, they'd be rolling in their graves. Those guys wouldn't be making excuses after losing to MSU as 3 touchdown favorites. They would've stormed the beaches of Normandy, gone back to Ann Arbor and gotten to work. No luck excuses to be found. Be better Michigan football fans, you're losers but you don't need to be this big of losers, it's pathetic. Those who stay will complain and cry about why they aren't good enough, I suppose.