His knees are made of an al dente linguini they said, he hasn't been productive since 2017 they said, the Texans offense won't have enough firepower to move the ball for him to get red zone looks they said, if he didn't work out in Arizona he certainly won't work out in Houston they said. Wrong wrong wrong and wrong. To quote the great Ronald McDonald, "stupid science bitches". Anyone who has functioning eye balls and tuned into the game last night came away thinking one thing: David Johnson might break every rushing record in league history this year. I mean the guy looked like prime Barry Sanders fused with Bo Jackson and a sprinkle of CJ2K. Unstoppable is really the only word to describe him. Sure people are gonna talk about the Chiefs and Mahomes and that stud Harrison Butker (also on my fantasy team) but that's just because they're in denial about how wrong they were about David "2500 yard rusher" Johnson.
When I drafted this guy all I was hearing was how shit he was gonna be this year after getting hurt AGAIN and it starting to look like that 2017 year was just a flash in the pan. Listen, THERE WAS NEVER A DOUBT. When you have an eye for talent you don't listen to the outside noise. When you've been doing it as long as I have you take one look at a guy and you can tell if 15 years from now he's gonna end up in the Hall of Fame or working at H&R Block. It's simple for us football savants. Some of the moves he was putting on guys should've been illegal because I can't imagine David Johnson is gonna cover all those hospital bills for shattered ankles. Guy was doing damage without ever touching, or being touched, by people. On some real Superman shit. Moral of the story is this: there's about a 98% chance DJ finishes a top 3 fantasy RB this year and I got him in the 4th round (genius), so next time anyone thinks of slandering me fantasy wise I demand that they come back and read this article. Also, did I mention that I'm a genius? Go Lions this Sunday, fuck the Bears. #OnePride