Hold the Phone... Michigan State Football Might Actually Have a Shot at Going .500 this Year?!
Before I start talking about the schedule and State's team and everything I need to get something off my chest: all those people on twitter making the "I looked at State's schedule and I predict 0-0 this year LMFAOOO" tweets, shut up, please. Literally nobody thinks you're funny. The whole acting like football is happening and then the punchline that it isn't happening because of corona shtick was like a 0.1/10 funny the first time someone did it. So it sure as shit isnt funny when you are the 80th person on my feed to make that joke today. Listen, I'm not trying to come off as a scrooge here but my god people, have an ounce of comedic awareness. I can't really explain why but overdone shitty jokes just annoy the fuck out of me. Besides, live live with a little bit of joy, sure the games probably won't get played, but as of today MSU is going to play 10 football games this season (and they just might win 4 or 5 of them *eyeball emoji*) so just let us enjoy it, dick. And yea I just said they might win 4 or 5, whatchu know about Mel Tucker's quarter zip drip and them spartan daawwwgggsssssss.
Here we go; 5 home, 5 away, UofM on the road, OSU at home, open with Minny, close with Nebraska.
I know I like to joke, but I am dead fucking serious when I say I think State might just win 5 games this year. I know it's crazy, if you told me a month ago that we'd win 5 games I'd report you to the institution upstate for having donkey brains. Mel Tucker is gonna be here with a chip on his shoulder and so will the program. Everyone, including me, thinks we are going to be atrocious and that just might give us agame or two due to the other guys sleeping on the job, plus anyone that's a fan of the green & white is very familiar with how much us Dawgs love the under dog label #disrespektszn. Plus we are Michigan State, we aren't a bunch of pussies, we are at the very worst gonna show up and make a couple plays week in and week out. The really good teams (OSU, PSU) are gonna annihilate us, sure, but if I'm Minny or UofM we are the definition of upset alert for those guys. Not saying it's gonna happen but that UofM game especially just hits different for us, plus Michigan is getting to the point where I just never believe that they won't choke at the finish line.
WHOA HE HAS TROUBLE WITH any team that has playoff potential. OSU kills us, so does PSU, and a tier below that Minny and UofM beat us, although again, Michigan has everything to lose the week they play us, all we lose is the pain and misery of insuferable Michigan fans everywhere. Also that dickhead Harbaugh losing is always the best. 4 losses so far and here is the nitty gritty, I think Iowa beats us as well, so that's 5, but after that I legitimately believe we have a shot in every one of those games.
Since when are Maryland, Neb, IU, NU, and Rutgers a guarantee to beat anyone? Unless it's Bobby Knight there is a negative guarantee. I am not, by any means, saying we win all those games, but what I am, by all means, saying is that we have a decent shot to win all those games. I know we suck, believe me I know, I watched us last year and realize we lost every good player we have except for like 3 of em, but I swear maybe its the Mel Tucker Magic, or maybe im just high but I wouldnt be completely shocked if we went 5-5. Here's my rating for Mel: 2-8 slightly below expectation but who gives a fuck we stink and its his first year. 3-7 makes sense, lets recruit and start building. 4-6 better than I thought, good stuff from Mel, lets recruit. 5-5 someone get this man a stogie, he is the truth. 6+ this dude should actually be on a 50 mil a year contract and should have a statue up yesterday, 2021 Natty Champs. Official prediction: 3-7, but don't sleep on the dawgs we might just fuck around and go .500. Go Green.