Jim Harbaugh Haters Can No Longer Say He Hasn't Won A Big Game
Finally! He's done it, wolverines from Ann Arbor to the Walmart in Saline can rejoice! Jim Harbaugh has finally slain the dragon and has unequivocally, undeniably won a big game. And not just any game, he won a game within "The Game". The game Jim Harbaugh has finally won, after years of disappointment, shortcomings, and - as of late - Wolverine faithful calling for his head, is the game against Covid-19. Now this is where I might lose you, so stick with me here, by losing the fight to Covid and allowing it to terrorize his locker room more than an 0-5 Penn State team he's actually won. Covid eliminating Michigan from play this weekend really is the best thing that could have happened to Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Football program. Sometimes good things just happen to good people so I guess we can just chalk this up to that? Michigan is so god damn bad this year that a global pandemic, a virus that is killing people, was so disgusted by their play it refused to sit through one more second of it in 2020, that's saying something.
Jokes aside, this is a milestone day for Harbaugh and Michigan. The first time they will have not lost to Ohio State since Game of Thrones premiered. The first fall that will pass since 2011 in which OSU won't be able to dominate the "rivalry" game. King shit for Harbaugh. And just in time for him to (hopefully) land that contract extension as well. These guys were opening up as 30 point underdogs!! To their arch rival!! What the fuck is that all about. It's such a brilliant move not to play that I wouldn't be totally shocked if a report came out saying ole Jimmy was bringing in his locker room furniture from Wuhan. Good for Jim getting the haters off his back, winning a big game (against covid), and not losing to OSU for the first time since I was in middle school. Big time stuff.
Disclaimer: I actually hope everyone who has it or is affected by it for UM is okay, clearly I'm joking, although this still is the best thing that's happened to Michigan football in the last 5 years.