Here I am just minding my business on a regular Thursday afternoon in beautiful Metro Detroit. Nothing out of the ordinary. I'm sitting in my favorite chair covered in a blanket with pink flowers covering it doing a little bit of blogging, you know, for the people, and I happen to stumble across quite the article from a little group called NASA and after the headline, this is the first passage I read:
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. – NASA’s first new space potty in decades — a $23 million titanium toilet better suited for women — is getting a not-so-dry run at the International Space Station before eventually flying to the moon.
Now I'm all on board with getting the female astronauts their own toilet that better suits their needs and makes space exploration a more enjoyable time, but I still have a massive problem with this. If the female toilet costs 23 million then it's probably safe to assume that the male toilet also costs around 23 million, I'm not much of an expert in extra terrestrial shitting so don't quote me on that but it feels like a fair assumption. If my math is right that means NASA already has spent a minimum of 46 MILLION DOLLARS on toilets for outer space. 46 MILLION, to take a poop. Here's my question... if we need to spend almost 50 mil on the equipment needed to let astronauts clear that beef stroganoff they had for dinner, are we absolutely, positively sure that this whole space travel thing is even worth it? That 50 million doesn't even begin to consider the fucking rocket ship, or the technology, or the fuel or anything else, all it considers is letting human beings take shits. 50 MILLION?!?!
Maybe my tune would be different if when we got to the moon we found some magical space dust that made everyone live until they were 500 but all we found were some rocks that looks like cheese and we got a cool picture of a dude with a flag. That really worth 50 million? Are we sure? Why not forget about people dropping dueces in the stratosphere and help out some people that can't afford a decent helping of Panda Express to bring on a poop at all? Why not help out someone who has student loans from learning how to take care of you when your pooping system doesn't function properly? WE REALLY WANT TO SPEND 50 MILLION ON SPACE TOILETS?!?! That's fucking crazy.