Big news out of the NHL today as everybody's favorite Tik Tok star, Josh Richards, was announced as "Special adviser for young audience growth". Totally paraphrasing there but essentially the idea is that Josh is gonna hit enough Tik Tok dances wearing a Maple Leafs jersey that the NHL is gonna gain a ton of young audience and eventually make a shit ton of money. Don't hate that logic. I like Josh, I'm sure he's gonna get a ton of shit and so will the NHL because he's gained his fame by literally just being shitty at dancing and touching his hair, but he seems like a smart dude. Albeit the only time I've ever seen or heard him speak is on the BFFs podcast but he seems nice enough. I'm not a huge Tik Tok guy myself (I have accounts and obviously fucking upload there, easiest organic growth in the game just ask Gary Vee) but I'm not gonna talk shit about a 19 year old kid who shits money and is turning down dates with Corinna Kopf and her million dollar boobs. Beats watching a documentary about Oasis in my parents living room, while writing blogs about 19 year old millionaires for sure. The point of this is to act as an open letter to Josh and how he can be the absolute best in his new role. And if that happens to also benefit the Detroit Red Wings, so be it.
Josh, if you're reading, your first and only order of action needs to be ensuring the Detroit Red Wings win the 2022 NHL draft lottery and get Shane Wright. I know this sounds like I'm just speaking as a Red Wings fan, but truthfully, I'm speaking as a Josh Richards fan. I want our boy to be successful, I want that dummy Bettman to give Josh his job, it's about Josh and definitely not about the Red Wings, just remember that as you read. Josh Richards 1, Detroit Red Wings 2.
But let me make my case Josh, let me convince you that giving Shane Wright to the Wings is going to be the biggest career move you've ever made. Bigger than any Tik Tok, bigger than any podcast, bigger than any studio with Mark Wahlberg. Putting Detroit on is a millions to billions, with a B, type move. Kids fucking love the Detroit Red Wings. Nothing fires up kids between the ages of 10 and 16 quite like the winged wheel, they love the patterns and the wing and cars its the number 1 rated logo in the league with people under the age of 18. Not to mention, the mascot is an octopus. Toys R Us actually was able to postpone their bankruptcy by an entire year solely because of the success of their plush octopus toys. According to Forbes they did $20 billion in sales of the octopus in 2020. The next closest toy was $5 million. Just something to think about. Sure the majority of the global population's favorite color is red, maybe that's significant, maybe not. Also for you Josh, for your boy band brand, the Red Wings have the best jersey in hockey. They're fucking sexy. If Corinna Kopf wanted to cash out her boob money on you before, you're gonna have Kim K on the tele in absolutely no time once she sees you prancing down Sunset Blvd in the winged wheel. Tupac shit.
Again, not about the Red Wings. Not about making them better and accelerating the rebuild and winning Stanley Cups. Not about making me happy as a fan. Not about the fact that I love Detroit and this hockey franchise. Not about restoring legend. It's about Josh Richards and how badly I want the kid to succeed! It's about me helping him out and giving him some tips on maybe the best markets to look at to expand the young audience, and it just happens to be Detroit. But it's not about the Red Wings.
P.S. look at this god damn logo