The last few weeks I have been lucky enough to go to some pretty cool places and live out new experiences. However with the luck of adventure comes the misfortune of having to travel. On The 2nd String Pod today I couldn't help but crawl into the bowels of my own mind and debate what the worst type of traveler is. The biggest pet peeve I have whether its flying, driving, sailing, or walking. And I narrowed it down to two possibilities. Two A-Listers in the world of being complete douchers. People who stand up on flights the moment they land, and people who "beat traffic" by cutting off traffic and coincidentally creating more traffic.
First things first; fuck both of these types of people. Really just the worst. Can't help but think of them as the type of people who would go to a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and steal a yam or two because the Whole Foods by their 3 story Victorian is fresh out. But let's really dive into what actually makes these people SO shitty.
On the flight standers side you have a group of individuals that seems to think because they lifted their ass 18 inches before anyone else they get to circumvent the basic foundation of society: waiting in lines. Simply because there was a paper thin gap between ass and leather when rubber met road these people seem to think sitting in row 34 all of a sudden means nothing. All of the row numbers, orderly exits, and using your brain in a logical manner are out the window. When it comes to these boneheads I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that they don't understand how lines and numbers work, or the fact that they believe that they're Moses and the rest of us serfs in the 33 rows in front of them should make like the Red Sea. Both really mind numbing options. And the worst part of it all is they're so dumb that they will NEVER learn that their premature erection will also NEVER lead to them getting off the plane sooner. Truly a spectacle of stupidity.
Say what you will about the plane standers but at least their incredibly annoying habit will never actually have an impact on when YOU get to leave the plane. Their delusions of grandeur will never circumvent the age old practice of exiting a plane row by row. Unlike those dickheads who cut traffic lines so they can get to their couch 2 minutes faster, the plane standers will never actually have an impact on you. Based on this, I'm inclined to be more critical of the Julius Caeser wanna be's that genuinely believe their time is so much important than yours, not only are they going to cut the line of traffic, but in doing so, they're going to create MORE TRAFFIC for you. Imagine that. Imagine actually 100% having a god complex and being one of those fucking losers that cuts everyone off. Just once again ignoring the very foundation of modern civilization: waiting in lines. Prison. On the flip side though, you kinda have to respect it. At least these assholes can make a difference with their delusions. Like, those people who cut traffic lines actually will get to that meaningless soccer practice 45 seconds sooner. The idiots on planes are doing it with literally no possible way to change their situation. While the traffic people are bigger assholes because they fuck over reasonable people like us, at least their brains work. They have a logical reason to do what they're doing, even if what they're doing should banish them to a mandatory 5 year stint in the North Korean Army. Plane standers are just flat out the lowest form of intelligence the human race has to offer.
I guess long story short I hate both of these people, but maybe the plane standers just a bit more because they're that dumb that they do it anyway for literally no reason. I'll never understand it. More delegation and fun to be made on the podcast below.